A Glimpse into Nearly a Year of Bodybuilding Prep...
Howdy, everyone! Last I talked about my pro bodybuilding prep on here was my announcement, then I disappeared. I documented the journey on my Instagram account but figured I would conclude my season with a longer format documentation.
For those of you unfamiliar with what bodybuilding prep is, it is a period of time spent precisely controlling variables. Weighing out every gram of food, calculating water intake, lifting and completing cardio sessions. It is a strenuous process that depletes the body overtime in order to compare physiques on stage.
There honestly is so much to say on this journey... I started prep in December and, to my surprise, I am still in prep in September. I had my pro debut in May and thought that would be the end of my season. To my surprise, I qualified for the Championship in Charlotte, NC this month. In the meantime, we went out to Phoenix, Arizona and competed there. WOW. Not only was that the most competitive show I have ever been in, but the most competitive one I have ever seen.
Before I get too ahead of myself, let's rewind a bit...
May, The Conquer, Baltimore, MD.
May 9, 2026 marks the beginning of my competitive career as a professional bodybuilder. I did not know what to expect having graduated from the amateur level. At this time, prep was going smoothly. My attitude was pretty hopeful throughout the process. My body and mind were in sync, I felt like I had beat my physique from 2023, which honestly was the goal the whole time. I did not want to bring the same physique twice- that is not the purpose of this sport. Coming off such a win in my first ever bodybuilding season, I tried to disassociate any comparison or expectation. Not every show will be an overall win, or even a placement.
While I had a long offseason from then to now, this was due to moving, going back to finish my degree, and other positive life circumstances. It was not necessarily a traditional growth offseason, to be honest. While still active in the gym, being a student and pursuing goals in the music industry took priority. Everything in life has a season and for a couple years, being a bodybuilder was not at the forefront of my actions. Despite this, I was so proud of the size I had put on and the physique I was bringing to the stage.
Prep and peak week went so well that I should have been a little more skeptical going into show day... the morning was anything but perfect. Aside from the jumpscare my makeup gave me, I did not get to eat before I went on stage or even touch a dumbbell, all of this resulting in my muscles looking flat and watery. (context: athletes pump up 30-45 min before stepping on stage. The carbs fuel the muscles to "wake up" and appear more defined). I felt like the physique in my gym's posing room and the one on stage looked months apart.
We were pulled to go on stage early, my hair somehow took an hour, the list goes on. Taking all of this into account, my mind stayed fairly in a good place. I was not nervous or anxious to be back on stage. While less than ideal, actions would not trump the full prep process. Through the months of preparing, the only line running through my head was "thank you, Lord, for this able body". Even if things are not to plan, the ability we have to get to do this is such a blessing.
Like I said, I tried to separate the 2023 results from my pro season. It is a completely different ball game. However, the confidence still spun around in my head. Surely, I had gotten 3rd place. Even 4th because the girls looked absolutely incredible!! Alex was backstage with me and we even congratulated 1st place before she was announced. The physiques were that astounding that we knew.
Contrary to my assumption, my name was announced as 5th. I know getting lean is a struggle for my body compared to the other athletes but this honestly caught me by surprise. I was so proud of everyone who placed and genuinely wanted everyone to win, yet still beat myself up for this. psst... you can expect a lot from yourself while still cheering others on!
I spent the 5 hour car ride home being hyper critical of my physique, being disappointed and not even wanting to post my stage shots. To be completely blunt, I felt embarrassed. My reaction took away from what this pro debut was...and I glazed over the fact that it still qualified me for the world championship! From the morning being rushed to getting a different placement, I spent the following days trusting that God was teaching me a lesson.
Once I came to peace with this placement and realized where I can improve, I checked my phone and got an email that my placement was wrong and I had actually achieved 4th. They calculated wrong on show day. I read the letter with a laugh and knew that is what God was teaching me in the process. To handle varying outcomes with grace.
I did not have any hard feelings and it honestly still makes me giggle.
June, The Scorcher, Phoenix, AZ
This show. This trip. SO many amazing memories that I would love to cherish forever. 6 of us made the trip out to Phoenix to meet up with 3 of our gym family members. We stayed together for the week, explored Phoenix and had the best peak week EVER.
It was so cool to see what goes into competing in a different state - traveling early for acclimation, time zone adjustment, varying climates, etc. Let's just say- drying out peak week was easier in the AZ heat!
Show day was beautiful. I kept this show a secret and didn't post it prior to going on stage. Everything from the vendors (best tan ever) to the athlete bags to the competitor lounges were amazing. The athletes of all divisions were so fun to interact with and get to know.
After the May show, my goal for this one was to just have fun and gain experience. I did just that! Being so close to top 3 in May, that was my goal here while still being an uncontrollable outcome. To me, there was no pressure. I qualified for the championship and this was a benchmark show between the two. Prior to this one, however, I started to feel my body push back. Instead of steady weight drops, it was fluctuating more than ever, even though I was staying on plan.
The show was a fun one to participate in. The staff was so kind. When it came time for placement, people were nodding at me getting top 3 and saying they assumed I was 2nd. I refused to let myself get my hopes up and released any expectation on placement.
The second I heard "5th place goes to..." I smiled and nodded. I knew history would repeat itself. Sure enough, my name was called and I walked out. Happy to take my 5th place and I just giggled to myself. Again, I obviously wanted to place higher but this felt like an opportunity to rewrite the initial 5th place. I definitely brought my personal best physique in Phoenix. I had already won the competition against myself and I was truly content and proud of this placement. It still remains the most competitive bodybuilding show I have ever attended.
Post-Phoenix
After coming back to Virginia from this amazing week, I had some conversations conclude in deciding to switch coaches. I am extremely close to my prior coach so there is no bad blood! She is genuinely one of my favorite people that I get to call a friend. It was a mutual decision and just made sense for me to be coached by someone else for the next 13 weeks.
My new coach, Mike, has been a great mentor and supporter. I am so blessed to work with him and finish this season off together! After stepping off the plane, it was time to relax my body and eat off plan for a week. I finally got to indulge in my weird Taco Bell craving! We slowly built my calories up to a maintenance level for about a month to give my body a break. Boy, did my metabolism appreciate that! Weight stayed steady at the 700 cal increase and that was honestly such a relief. (bodybuilding is not a healthy sport so making sure metabolism still functions properly is always intimidating)
In July, it was time to push again.
When the cut resumed, the self doubt began. Nearly every day from mid-July to early August, I had thoughts about quitting. I missed one of my favorite holidays (July 4th), I was about to miss my birthday and watch everyone celebrate around me. Summer was fleeting without a Taste ceasar wrap in sight. I keep coming in last, or at least announced as it, is it actually worth it to do it again? As the cut continued, it felt like my body was fighting me again. Holding water. Not dropping. Everything plateaued.
I tried to remember the competitor I was in 2023. The one who didn't do this for placement or clout or because it was trendy. I decided to join this sport because I had a season of life worth overcoming. I went from the lowest low I could have experienced and needed something to pull me out to give me purpose. This sport provided me with a desire to reach a potential and a determination unlike anything has before.
Week after week of telling myself I was going to quit, yet still somehow following protocol like a blind sheep, my mind finally shifted. I decided to pose with Tina and explain all my feelings during the session. With her feedback, things finally felt like they were aligning. Her feedback and Mike's are some that I take close to heart. So much so that the fact they saw the vision before I did, meant something more was to come this season.
This shift happened mid-August so at 6 weeks out. Better late than never. Immediately following this, I noticed the cortisol levels dropping and things are moving again.
We are now 7 days out and, while I acknowledge I won't be the leanest person to show up, I understand the honor it is to step on the Yorton World Cup stage. I also acknowledge that my physique has improved since Phoenix, despite the hell I have put it through this year.
I mean, c'mon...stepping on stage at the world championship of bodybuilding? Qualifying alone is such an honor and makes me emotional to think about.
I get to compete alongside friends in my division and others; finally meet people I became friends with on Instagram; and cheer on the girls I have grown close with from prior shows. That is what competing initially was about for me so it is time to return to that.
I feel like my physique is in a good place as I experience daily changes. We have such a community of friends and family traveling to Charlotte. The day has already exceeded my expectations and I am excited to represent what natural bodybuilding is to me.
The support from Alex, my family, his family, Luisa, Mike, Tina, friends, MaxFit, etc. means more to me than I could ever express. In 7 days... it is time to run this back! It is me vs. me and always has been.
After Yorton
"what's next?" is always a prominent question after a big event. Post-show is arguably the hardest part of this sport. Sure, dieting down has its challenges but what about the food freedom after 9 months of restriction? Your leptin and ghrelin hormones don't know what the frick to do or how to signal to you when you are actually hungry or actually full. The world is your oyster again after hiding in a bubble behind a food scale and dumbbell rack.
My post-show plans are to give myself grace and space. To process what this year was and to work through watching myself gain weight. Again, this sport is not healthy and stage lean is not something to chase year round. We will reverse diet, strategically bring my calories and bodyweight up, to get to a healthy maintenance level again. I will still pursue bodybuilding but would love to put my focus back into the music industry again and continue to grow my career at MaxFit. Off season is about building and for me, that means more than just muscle mass.
I spent such time beating myself up rather than enjoying the process that I would like to sit in my accomplishment before thinking of a timeline for another competition.
I have some travel and dream trips planned October through January. My post show goal is to live in the moment without overanalyzing the food in different countries or have a little weight gain ruin those experiences.
I am so blessed to be able to pursue this hobby and to bring friends along on the journey.
Romans 5: 3-4 "...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope"
Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
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