Prep Series III

The differences between being 12 weeks out and 6 weeks out. Different bumps in the road and what helped me to move past it.

My trip in January is kind of a checkpoint for me regarding a lot of prep related things. Before it was the adjustment period, after was the 12 week nose to the grindstone portion. 

The first few weeks back were really not as bad as I thought, but some days did just felt like checking boxes; some days, that is all it is going to be- whether it is a bodybuilding show or a different goal someone is setting out to accomplish. It really just matters that you do it. Self-discipline over motivation. Other days, you're going to be eager to do the next thing and work one step closer to the goal! Keeping the goal in mind is what makes every cardio session enjoyable, every workout fulfilling (I despise working legs so not going to say enjoyable to that one, too), and every meal feel good! Prep as a whole has been one of my favorite seasons and I think it's because of the clear cut goal and destination coexisting with a direct plan to get there. 

My first challenge coming back from my trip were some cravings. They subsided quickly but the food I eat in prep is honestly the same as in off season. The difference is just that now I measure it out and have to find foods to fit the gaps in my macros. I think this is why I did not have strong cravings before- my meals mostly consist of eggs and turkey so there is not much room for craving when it is so repetitive. While away, I had access to various different foods and I ate intuitively but also did not bring my food scale around to measure everything. I don't really have a logical solution on how to avoid cravings. I typically forget about them once I eat my next meal or find a way to fit it into my meal plan the next day if it is something I'm able to have. I know this season is a short one in comparison so the foods I am craving will be there when it is all done (I will, in fact, be devouring a burger and an iced vanilla almond milk latte post show). 

This portion of prep definitely had some unexpected blips, though. I had something come up where I could not train at all for about a week and my instructions were to rest and recover. I was extremely bummed because I thought this period would steer me off track for my competition. I did not lift heavy for almost two weeks, I also decided to go snowboarding the day I was feeling better and that triggered some of my injuries again. That definitely taught me how delicate I need to treat activities outside of the gym and that I need to settle down my "full send" mentality of wanting to do everything. This all happened 10 weeks out, so walking on the thin line of having time to bounce back but also not really.

The week prior to this event, my body dysmorphia kicked in and the doubt in myself was raging. I am fairly hard on myself (in a positive and motivating way) so this only amplified it. I doubted my progress in the sport and if this was something I would actually be competitive enough in. I would doubt if I have enough muscle or am lean enough. I also doubted if 10 weeks was long enough to make necessary progress. I have a lot of friends backing me and hyping me up which definitely did help. My little Instagram close friends list makes an impact, too. Since the beginning, I have had a "me vs me" mentality and tunnel vision. Meaning, I want to be better than I was when I started. I want to be better than I was a month ago. I want to be better than I was a week ago. I want to just keep getting better so that when I get on stage, I am confident in what I have done and I know I worked hard for it. The best way to collect that confidence, in my opinion, is to just do exactly what your coaches tell you. I am following their lead which 1) limits how much thought I have to put in and 2) it helps to listen to people who actually know what they are doing. It assists in minimizing doubt. 

My friends kept reminding me of the "me vs. me" statement and it definitely helped to ground me. When the body dysmorphia kicks in and I doubt myself, I turn off social media and I do not look in mirrors. Most wellness competitors I follow are NPC (meaning you can take PEDS) whereas I am doing OCB (natural). Obviously the expectations are skewed and unrealistic if I am exposing myself to seeing mostly NPC competitors. Natural athletes compete in NPC, too, but it is very unlikely in wellness. Regarding body dysmorphia, I started following more OCB wellness people and instead of comparison, I learned to evaluate and take notes. People also reached out and gave me tips, which was very nice! 

I will always preach this- turn comparison into a learning experience. If something is triggering a negative feeling in you, evaluate what it is and learn from it then apply it. There is no valid reason to voluntarily curate negative feelings. 

Back to my topic- it is needless to say, my unexpected time off hitting at the apex of my discourage in myself did not help. However, my time off did give me a new perspective. It made me value working out and realized how much competing is a blessing. With the event that caused my week of rest, I genuinely did not think competing was in the cards. I may elaborate after the comp but don't want to dwell on it now or let it distract me. I definitely feel God in the center of this journey, though, and am confident that He is bringing me to my potential, which is my goal for anything I set out to do.

When I came back, I took an InBody scan and it was actually the biggest drop I had had all of prep- no heavy lifting, minimal cardio, but immense rest- first time getting more than 6 hrs of sleep in awhile! Listen to your body (and your coach)! If you're not ready to get back to the gym, don't. Work hard but rest hard as well.

I am now 6 weeks out. I just finished 3 finals; I do class in 8 week segments so it is a full semester course in half the time... so no judgement when I am studying on the stairmaster. Two birds, one stone. I just finished 3/5 of my classes for the semester and I am glad I chose to do them in 8 weeks because prep brain is starting to surface and so is being hangry (congrats, everyone. 2019 blunt me is coming out of hibernation). The only part of prep that I'm nervous about right now is having my medical term and psych finals days before my second show. If that is all I'm worried about, though, I think I'm doing pretty alright.

I also chose to cut some things out that were taking time/attention away from prep (commuting and even deleting the large majority of social media apps), and doing this has allowed me to focus more on prep as well as get better sleep, which that alone is positively contributing to progress. Remember- rest is important! I am at the part of this process where I am cutting out things that are not a priority for my attention and it is making me feel a lot better. 

Another thing I wanted to mention in this post is FOMO during prep- 

I am someone who wants to do everything- every concert, every trip, and will say yes just about any time my friends ask to go somewhere. I also thoroughly enjoy alone time, though. Enjoying your own company is so important and has helped immensely in prep. It is spring break this week and balancing seeing friends while prioritizing this commitment is a little hard. I know that me not going places or doing things is serving a purpose for this season, and a positive of prep is that I have learned the importance of not having to go everywhere and do everything just because I was invited. Saying no has been a great way to train both my ego and FOMO. Instead of going certain places with friends, I'll ask if they want to meet for coffee and I feel like my relationships have actually benefited from that. Meeting friends with intention rather than just for the sake of going somewhere with distraction has been a nice product of this season. I am also impressed with my friends being willing to do things other than going out to eat- it is very sweet of them! I have even had a friend's family offer to measure food out for me so I can come over. My acts of service love language felt very supported with that!

There is a solution to everything and finding ways to continue to be around friends has not been as sacrificial as I anticipated, that can be credited to having their support. I have also had my fair share of going out with friends but having to sit with water or my own food while they eat, which isn't as bad as it seems- I chose this so I won't complain about it (for now) and it is only for a season. 

Going off of that, though, not everyone will understand the boundaries and level of strictness/how regimented this sport is. About 90% of people understand, though, which is impressive! Not being able to go out to eat, not being able to train with people (I do not like doing this a lot anyway), having to refuse just about every food or drink offered to me, etc. With anything, the right people will respect and reciprocate those boundaries, though, and understand it is because of a goal. I did talk to my therapist about it and she told me that not everyone is meant for every season. That was validating so I figured I would pass that on. :) therapy is cool!! stigmas are not!! 

Prep has gone by so quickly and I am loving the process so much, despite the challenges! There is a solution to each one and figuring them out is fun. Some things that have made me fall in love with prep is knowing I am pushing myself, the people who are supporting me, the level of support, and watching how my coaches can manipulate diet and workouts to reach these goals. Leaning out and seeing definition is a cool bonus, too! Loving this process has allowed the body dysmorphia to simmer down. Reminder if you're struggling with it- social media breaks are healthy (I deleted the majority of socials for Lent); your body isn't going to change based on how long you stare at yourself in the mirror; evaluate what is causing negative feelings- turn those feelings into motivation, if possible. These are just some things that have worked for me but I hope they can help someone else, too. 

As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions or want to talk mental/physical health! 

Instagram- @liftswithris